prayer request too

Emily's post last week urged me to ask for prayer too. I've been struggling a lot lately, because I don't feel like I have meaningful, deep friendships in my day to day life. Now, I have a ton of great close friends that I can talk to, but they don't necessarily live the closest. I just get worn down sometimes and need to hang out with a girl. We're in a small group, but it's coed, which is great, but I don't feel like I'm getting to know any of the girls as close as I did in other small groups I've been in the past (I so miss the Bible study group from Colorado Springs). I guess I'm either praying for a good girlfriend that I see in person on a regular basis in my everyday life, or a good opportunity for a women's small group where I can be encouraged and be real with other women.

can i just say...that i LOVE the new background on the blog!

Church Search

Yes, I said it, the word CHURCH. I'm writing to ask you ladies to pray for Adam and me. We are looking for a church and really having difficulty finding one that fits us. And when I say it "fits" I don't even really know what I mean. I am confused about what I am looking for, and knowing what is important when searching for a faith community.

We have tried the traditional Presbyterian church in the area as well as a more contemporary church that meets on Sunday nights. This past Sunday we went to a church that is somewhere in between the more structured traditional approach and the whimsical, organic approach. If you want a better idea of the churches we've visited, see Adam's blog post here. He explains it a lot better than I can.

The issue for me right now is that I don't feel like I fit in at the church where we've been regularly going. One person, in a matter of at least 5 weeks, has introduced himself to us and recognized that we are new to the group. It isn't a big church, so in my opinion it's not difficult to look around and observe the new faces in the crowd. One of my dilemmas is this: do I base my decision about attending and investing in a church body solely on how welcome I feel there?

In short, I am pretty confused. I would really like to hear if anyone has any insight on the issue. If you have stories, lists of qualities you look for or like about your church, books on the subject, really anything would be of help!

Thanks for letting me rant, and I hope to hear from some of you soon!

MOXY?

Hi Ladies,

It's been a while! I hope you are all well! I wanted to share this website with you. It is the blog site of a woman who works at Westmont, and I think she has some unique and insightful ways of expressing how to live your life as the person you were created to be.

http://themoxyprojectblog.com/

I hope you enjoy it.

Grace and Peace,

Emily

P.S. Over Thanksgiving I got engaged!

Colossians 3:12

This quote has really hit home lately for me. Our pastor said it a couple weeks ago while talking about Compassion in the context of Colossians 3.

"Compassion without action is pity"

uh! so good.


oh, and one of my favorite books that really goes along with this train of thinking is "Under the Overpass". i highly recommend it!

Is hope really worth it?

During the past two weeks I have had such tunnel vision - focusing solely on my school work and my relationship with Adam. I find that when I emerge from periods of such business and intensity in my life, I have a lot of processing to do! (Does this happen to anyone else?) I think a lot of this happens because I am an introvert, but I think that I also don't allow myself to process my life as it is happening because I tell myself I can't afford to spend the time or energy on "that" until later. It inevitably catches up with me. :)

Today at church God really spoke to me. I have realized I have some deep feelings of hopelessness and lack of perspective right now. As you know, Adam is hoping to move out to Colorado some time in the next few months, but he can't do so until he has a job. He has had several good conversations with people regarding job possibilities, but it seems like nothing practical has come of any of the work he has done. I think that on Friday, as I was finally able to start winding down from the past two weeks, I realized that this lack of progress, so to speak, is really wearing on me. In a conversation with my mom I said "Why should I hope for anything, because what if it doesn't happen?" I've really been wondering the last two days if it is worth it to keep hoping. The more I think about it, the less I want to go on without Adam in my daily life. He is one of my closest companions and I really am looking forward to a life with him. Anyway, I digress, but this weight is something I came to church carrying this morning.

I have found that when I come to worship with expectations, God does not always choose to speak to me right away, but today He totally reminded me about my hope in HIM. Apart from what Adam does to pursue job leads in Colorado, independent of when he can move here, and regardless of anything else that could happen in my life - my hope is in Jesus Christ, and my purpose is in Him. I was brought to tears by this realization this morning - such a gentle, compassionate message from a God who loves me infinitely and who will never leave me.

Please pray for me! Whatever the Spirit lays on your heart about Adam, me, our relationship, and job possibilities for Adam. Thank you in advance for praying with all the saints on behalf of your brothers and sisters in Christ.

grace upon grace = grace squared?

I listened to a sermon online last Sunday and one phrase, from a passage in John 1:16 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%201:16&version=NASB, really stood out to me. It mentions that we receive grace upon grace from God. All week, this has been my mantra, my breath prayer. As I prayed this and thought about this concept, I began to be convicted by how easy it is for me to ask for God's grace, and how difficult it is for me to dispense it. I also realized that in order to dispense grace I require even more! It seems like a compound grace effect where I am always needing more. I am so humbled by my lack of grace, because even though I withold it, God never does.

Another random note: I wanted to share this website with you all. Specifically, the essay in the link below really spoke to me about "trying to do everything" as a woman. What part's of you does this speak to? http://burnsidewriters.com/2009/09/23/she/