I appreciate Valerie's words on freedom as breaking free from my bondage is something I have been dealing with lately. As I start my 2nd year teaching in Ecuador, God has really spoken to me about the idols in my life that are distracting me from pursuing a deeper relationship with Him. My eyes have been opened through Beth Moore's study "Breaking Free." Yesterday I just rid myself of an idol that has been keeping me in chains for 6 years. But I know that the decision to do this is just the beginning. God will be putting me through a process of rebuilding that I am honesty scared of right now. Galatians 5:1 says its possible to return to something that held us in bondage even after we have been set free. But dear fret not of that creeping bondage.
However, just now, I have been given some encouragement of why I need to go through with this. Beth Moore talks about generational sin and the effect that our sin can have on our generations to come. Now this is kind of hard to imagine seeing as how I don't have any children and can't see it happening for many years. But this doesn't mean that what I do with my life doesn't affect other people. We have the power to have a positive influence on anyone's life, especially for me now starting a new school year with 15 10- year- olds all day. I think of the kind of role model I want to be for them. Do I want to pass on my low self esteem, past idols that haunt me, or teach them how to reach wholeness and a secure identity in Christ?
But wait! First, where am I going to find that, how can I become that person? Exodus 20 says that when we sin God will curse us to the 3rd or 4th generations. However, when we do obey God, He will bless thousands of our generations. I have never been good at math, but I know 1000 is a better number than 3 or 4 (in this situation). I must show God I love Him by obeying Him and following His commandments. And I trust that when I do this, He will show His love and mercy on me. So now I must think, "I am free from my bondage. Can I help someone else break free from theirs? If I do my part for one generation then He will do His part for thousands." And we all must think, "Are we allowing the next generation, or the people around us, too see this authenticity in our lives?"
PS I feel this is a jumbled mess. But that's how my head has been the past few weeks. I'm looking forward to having a new venue to sort this out.